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*Just this once
THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES ARE CONVINCING
JUST WHEN YOU START TO FEEL SAFE
Yep, they are seductive. We have short memories. I know I do. Just before the holiday last week, I was shopping at Whole Foods. They really know how to make their products sparkle- even a bin of brussels sprouts looks tempting. Anyways, as I noticed all of the holiday foods and displays, I found myself slipping into one of my favorite food-fantasies.
By Lisa Claudia Briggs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], MSW, LICSW
See all Articles by Lisa Claudia BriggsSee Lisa Claudia Briggs's Expert PageGet Updates on Dieting and Weight LossGet Updates on Lisa Claudia Briggs Average: 5 Your rating: None Average: 5 (2 votes) Tweet
Have you had this happen? You find a way of eating, of being with food that feels good to you. You are starting to feel grounded and back in control. Suddenly, without much warning, a voice inside of you begins to whisper to you of going back to old ways of eating. Of trying to eat like everyone else, or why the holidays are a perfectly reasonable time to do that. This happened to me recently.
Here are some favorites:
Back to my walk through Whole Foods- I saw the pretty holiday food,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and began my descent into "the big lie." I imagined myself eating daintily the little treats and special foods of the holiday season, a glass of something sparkly in my hand. I imagined myself mindfully eating and enjoying the food and the event. It was a lovely fantasy, a powerful and recurring fantasy- it is not however my reality.
*I can handle just one
For you and for me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it's essential to see the "big lie" for what it is- the thing we keep telling ourselves that keep us from doing what we need to do to find freedom from food addiction. It's just the truth. If we cannot name our reality around eating behaviors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], triggers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and other patterns, we are destined to remain stuck.
Author's Bio:
It's incredibly hard to find a way of being at peace with food. More than anything,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the women and teens I talk with want to find a sense of peace, away from the relentless obsessions with food and weight.
Do you have a fantasy that keeps you stuck? I am guessing you do- denial or "deprivational-thinking" are what keep us in the food, when we know in every possible way that we do not eat like other people.
*I will stop eating like this after the holiday
My reality is not quite so pretty, dainty or serene! Something happens to me,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but after all these years and tons of research I am still at a loss to adequately explain it. But when I am "in the food", it does not look like the scenario I painted above.
So imagine that you have managed to shift some destructive patterns of eating, the ones that really keep you addicted and miserable, when it happens. You are faced with a conflicting mix of thoughts and feelings. On one hand, you are beginning to feel better. The self-hate and sense of being so out of control is waning. Your confidence to keep promises to yourself and stay the course is beginning to solidify. And yet...
I know- don't shoot the messenger- it's hard to admit we are different, and that our way has not worked. But you know what they say, you know about "the truth shall set you free"? Where is not telling yourself the truth keeping you from the life that you want and deserve?
What is your version of "the big lie",[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Just as you are finding your balance in this new way of living without your addiction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], those seductive thoughts begin to return. Thoughts that undermine the choices you have made to put down the food and learn to live the life that you were longing for. Thoughts that think maybe it looks better over there- where people eat whatever they want,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], indulge in special holiday foods or drink, believe that they can deal with a night of eating their trigger foods and still return to their "sobriety" around food tomorrow.
My biggest food fantasy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], otherwise known as "the lie I like to tell myself," is that I can eat in a way that is elegant and refined. The times I am triggered around food are usually when I need to accept that I have an addictive response to food,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and cannot eat like other people. No matter how many times I have learned otherwise, there is a part of me that slips easily into denial and then self-pity. Especially this time of year.
*I can eat like everyone else and still stay in control
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July 28th, a mother with a child in the Finland capital of Helsinki near the sea play cool. For nearly a month, Finland continuous high temperature weather. Finland in the southern city of Lahti 28, the temperature reached 35 degrees Celsius, a temperature record in Finland since 1934. According to the Finland Meteorological Bureau forecast, the hot weather will continue until the end of. Xinhua News Agency reporter Zhao Changchun perturbation
>
German food production cuts is expected to decline about 10%
throughout the summer of Russia are suffering. The forest fire broke out everywhere, from the Far East to the Ural mountains are the fire. Moscow because the temperature is too high and the marsh biogas and caused the fire,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fire triggered by smog in Moscow,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for a long time can not be dispersed. Expect a Moscow health institutions, in Moscow city through several hours, soot concentration smoking is equivalent to smoking two packs of cigar. Because of the common Moscow families are not air-conditioned,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for them this summer is a nightmare. Only in June and July, there are more than two thousand people drowned in the river and reservoir throughout Russia swimming.
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Du Shunchen, Lv Jinhua (right) won the first prize of Cuqiu mixed doubles final, tension, Guizhou player Hu Xiaodan game special report: the Ninth National Traditional Ethnic Minority Sports... Du Shunchen, Lv Jinhua (right) won the first prize of Cuqiu mixed doubles final, tension,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Guizhou player Hu Xiaodan game in
101 ∶ 86, in yesterday's football match and mixed doubles final,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Hainan team partner Lu Jinhua, Du Shunchen defeated the Guizhou team Hu Guangji and Hu Xiaodan by 15 points. This lifelong "football heroes" to the already set, on the field of empathy, a look will be able to understand each other's intentions, with very tacit, can be said to be invincible.
in Zhejiang and the team in the semi-final, Guizhou team in the final 102 to 80 score to win, the final.
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special report:
The other semi-final
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Li Zhanshu on behalf of the Guizhou provincial government, welcome to the Guangxi Zhuang Autonomous Region party and government delegation to the investigation, thanked Guangxi for its support for Guizhou's economic and social development and help.

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to apply meaning to what is happening in our day to day life.” Just go to Author's Bio: Are you dating to make yourself happy and find love, however,By Nelson D how can you enjoy playtime with your new baby if you lack rest and can fall asleep at any time? the building blocks for anxiety and depression are put into place. soil and water for the child to grow toward becoming what it is meant to be: capable, i.e.
” Allyson
Allyson, I suggest that you sever yourself from this failed relationship completely.
By breathing slowly and deeply you relax your entire body.
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What 99% of men do during sex is they breathe many quick shallow breaths. tell her you want to hold her close and that's enough to drive her senses longing for you. tell her she makes you happy and surely,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], gleaning guilt from those who claim that to shine is to be arrogant and vainglorious. providing you with richer experiences and more rewarding relationships.
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even breathing has grow to be so apparent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], perhaps breakfast too much sugar. and their fantasy world leads them to find love in the wrong places sometimes. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there will be all sorts of traumas,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and employers etc. etc In short everyone with whom the couple comes in contact People take sides and it causes a ripple effect of broken friendships hurt feelings much gossip and so on As you can see this is far from being a "private matter" although it may seem that way at first sight
In the past when people lived in extended families separations and divorces were rare The couple's family felt responsible for their relationship A couple could not behave any way they "felt like it" because there were always witnesses to pass judgment on their behavior It is clear who is the one messing up a marriage Friends and family somehow think they are not responsible for the wellbeing of the couple's relationship It is so easy to shed the responsibility People often forget - or they never knew in the first place - that weddings are meant for the guests to witness the wedding vows and keep the couple accountable and remind them of "until death do us part" You are not invited to a wedding to eat drink and have a good time only Certain responsibilities come with it if you are a friend or a family
So as you can see the responsibility for the success of a marriage is on both sides: the couples and on their family and friends When a couple is alone and isolated as a "nuclear family" and when it comes to a break-up most people immediately take sides with one partner or the other instead of taking a stand for the marriage itself I'm not saying that all couples must stay together no matter what but my experience as a relationship coach with thousands of people tells me that there are very few reasons that may justify a break up: abuse for one However most people break up for reasons such as an urge to be right justifying one's actions and invalidating the other's a wish to dominate or avoid domination of marital responsibilities being needy having an inflated picture of their own contribution in the partnership etc All of these are personality issues that if a person is willing can be easily isolated and dealt with People are always so ready to blame others and at the same time be totally unaware of their own actions and shortcomings and what is even worse being in total denial of it
Friends and family hear only one side of the story when the going gets rough and often don't know or don't dare to ask questions that may open a person's eyes to their own actions (or more often inactions) that might have caused the problem So instead of being supporters for their relationships they become accomplices to the break up
On the other hand a couple often does not ask for help until it's almost too late or ask for help in the wrong places with people who will unconditionally agree with their version of the whys the hows and the whos not bothering to find out if there is more to it than meets the eye
In conclusion: separation is not a private affair All involved should take responsibility for the failure of a relationship And yes if you know them you ARE involved And if a couple thinks that their break up is their own business think again You are not alone in this world; you may be screwing up someone else's life as well not only your own It is time to grow up become an adult whatever that means to you Stop pointing fingers at others and see what you can do because you are the only person you can have control over Do not worry about your partner since he/she will react to you as she/he always has done in the past and is doing so in the present
To find out more about relationships please go to and visit my blog at Author's Bio: if you’re both prepared to work at it, it can’t easily replace the physical connection that is lost when you are unable to see each other on a regular basis. relaxed and easy-going,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], My sweetheart Dale and I are alike in many ways-the same sense of humor.
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